The parts highlighted in yellow are the revised sections. These revised sections are based on the feedback I was given from the Writers Group. This feedback stated three major aspects I should improve on. The first being the details in the scene introductions and how they need to be more descriptive in order to give the production assitance in visualising the shots. The second is to include more over the shoulder shots to solidify the shot reverse shot dynamic of conversations between characters. The third is to amend the the colloqualisms to represent Americanisms instead of my personal idiom. All of these changes have been carried out so that my script rovide the best possible guidlines for thecreation of a film product. .
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